My Fertility Story Part 2: The Journey

sarahh — Thu, 09 May 2013 21:32:55 +0000

I remember the summer of 2004 so clearly. It was as if I was seeing the world with new eyes – the world my child would be born into – and visualising the family we were to become.

It was an exciting time, full of hope and wonder.

Having been so certain of the ‘childfree’ life I had planned, I had been using hormonal contraceptives for many years, and most recently the contraceptive injection. The effect of each injection lasted for 12 weeks and when the last one expired I could tell conceiving wasn’t going to be straightforward.

After an absence of periods for years due to the contraceptives, I started with a month long bleed which left me weak and exhausted. And then although I did start to have regular cycles, they were extremely short with around 2 weeks between periods.

It was at this time that I first read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. This best-selling fertility book was a real eye opener and would eventually lead to me conceiving my baby.

I was so excited to get my hands on this huge fact-filled book and read it from cover to cover. I emerged from this reading marathon feeling well informed and ready to tackle my fertility issues head on. I was excited to be on this journey!

I started fertility charting and discovered that within my very short menstrual cycles I wasn’t ovulating at all. Through diligent temperature charting I knew that my cycles were anovulatory (without ovulation) for a whole year.

Part of me wasn’t surprised by this as I’d pumped my body with artificial hormones for years, not to mention my lifelong mindset focussed on preventing pregnancy.

I was more motivated than ever to turnaround my fertility and bring back balance to both my mind and body.

So I continued to work with EFT for my emotional well-being, paying close attention to any blocks I may have had to conceiving. I also researched what could be done to optimise my fertility naturally using diet and natural therapies.

I studied books by Dr Marilyn Glenville and Patrick Holford. I took fertility boosting supplements and herbal tinctures. I had reflexology, kinesiology and acupuncture regularly and tapped my way through all of this with EFT, both by myself and with other EFT practitioners guiding me (it’s always useful to get the input of others!).

A truly positive aspect of my journey was the amazing support I received. As I took on the role of being my own “cheerleader” for my fertility, it was then easier to seek and accept the support of others. And in turn I had the inner resources and strength to continue to offer support to others, to both my clients and my friends.

I didn’t view my fertility issues as a taboo subject and would discuss them openly with family and friends. There were a few tactless comments thrown my way at times but it was easy to let those go as I focussed on the support and strength I was receiving from my husband, my mum and my friends.

Another great support network for me was found online through a pregnancy and parenting forum. Many of the women on there were also dealing with fertility issues and it was wonderful to share our experiences. The fertility issues I had seemed to perplex my doctors. Although I was now ovulating (and I remember that first ovulation well – I celebrated as I saw my temperature rise!) my cycles varied greatly in length and the number of days between ovulation and my period were too few. Through my own research I knew this was a Luteal Phase Defect and could be the reason I was unable to conceive. But my doctor didn’t agree and offered me two solutions: clomid or IVF.

My intuition told me this wasn’t needed. I was ovulating but my progesterone levels were low. This meant it was difficult to get pregnant, and also made miscarriage more likely. When I saw my first ever positive pregnancy test, followed by a negative test the next day and my period followed (known as a ‘chemical pregnancy’) I knew that I needed to take further action.

My doctor said he couldn’t help me. As far as he was aware my progesterone levels were ‘normal’ so I discharged myself from his care and looked for support more suited to my issues.

I shared my situation on the online fertility forum and was excited to hear that others had similar issues and had found support and understanding from a specialist clinic.

Feeling empowered with this support in the background a few months later I saw my next positive pregnancy test – on Christmas Day 2006! I was so excited to be pregnant again and as soon as the clinic reopened after Christmas I made an appointment to be seen immediately. The specialist there confirmed my thoughts – yes I was pregnant, but my progesterone production was much too low. He recommended I started supplementation immediately, and all being well I would take it throughout the first trimester of pregnancy.

So we started on an exciting and surreal journey into early pregnancy, with regular scans at the clinic, regular supportive acupuncture and continuing to nourish my body – and my baby – with a healthy diet (well as much as possible, as I craved a lot of carbs in early pregnancy!).

Although the first trimester is known to be the most risky, especially with my fertility issues, I enjoyed these early days and had a calm curiosity about what was ahead for me. My friends would ask wasn’t I anxious, wasn’t I scared of miscarrying but I honestly wasn’t. I did have a realistic outlook though and knew I had to take each day as it came. All in all it was a very comfortable and peaceful time.

Throughout this time (and for a few months before I conceived) I wore a fertility charm from New Zealand around my neck loaned to me from one of my most supportive friends. This charm had apparently worked for her, and for another of her friends. In fact that friend had passed it on to me directly as soon as she reached the 12 week milestone in her long awaited pregnancy. It was so reassuring to wear that charm, and I wore it every day. I’m not sure I believed in the ‘magical’ aspect, but I do know that it represented the love and support I was receiving from those around me, and that was priceless.

At the 7 week scan we saw and heard our baby’s heartbeat and the clinic passed me on to NHS care. We’d reached one of the important milestones and from then on my pregnancy continued to be very happy and healthy. I offered to return the fertility charm to my friend, and I was instructed where to send it – to another of her friends who was also dealing with fertility issues! And so the ‘magic’ went on…

On 6th September 2007, over 3 years since my fertility journey began, I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy James, just 4 minutes before his due date weighing a perfect 7lb 1oz (bang on the 50th centile – my Mr Average baby!).

So does my story finish there?

When I was pregnant I imagined that I would want another baby immediately – as small an age gap as possible was my plan. But of course I knew that it may not be that straightforward. Another quite different journey was about to begin.

To be continued..

Would you like to share your story too? If you’ve used EFT on your fertility journey you can share your story and give support and hope to others here: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NMQRBGD

My Fertility Story Part 1: The Awakening

sarahh — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:34:46 +0000

Because I’m so passionate about fertility and supporting others on this journey I’m often asked about my story. I’m always happy to share but never have I done so in such a public way. Until now..

Today I am going to be sharing the first part of my personal fertility story.

There are a few surprising elements to my story and where it all started is no exception.

Given my interest in all things fertility related, it may come as a shock to hear that for most of my life I didn’t want children. From a very young age and up until my mid-twenties I was adamant that I would never, ever have children. I had many reasons behind this decision and was happy to remain “childfree by choice”.

Before I married my long term boyfriend in 1999 I told him that I was 100% sure I would never have children and if he wanted to marry me he would need to accept this. He said he did but that we shouldn’t make such big decisions now. However I knew my mind was made up; this was a certainty for me.

So convinced was I that I would remain childfree – and so fearful of pregnancy and childbirth – that I planned to be sterilised at the age of 30; the youngest recommended age for the procedure to be successful.

How things can change.

A couple of years into our marriage I was introduced to EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) as a possible solution to my phobia of public speaking. EFT worked very quickly and took away all the fear I had about talking to groups. This fear had been with me since I was a very young child and it was gone, almost instantly.

I was intrigued. If EFT could work this effectively on what was a deep rooted fear, what else could it do?

I experimented using the technique on a range of emotions and found that it consistently left me feeling calm and relaxed. Excited about the potential I decided to train professionally in EFT and then used this technique with the clients I saw in my reflexology practice. The results were mind blowing! Life long phobias like mine were eliminated. Anxiety was resolved and stress reduced in a huge range of situations.

The women I had been seeing for fertility reflexology had a very interesting response to EFT. Where they had been stressed to the max by their fertility issues, and grieving the pregnancies they had lost and babies they hadn’t conceived, with EFT they became so much more positive, calm and hopeful. It was wonderful to see the transformation, and watch them go on to conceive their long awaited babies.

Little did I know that my own transformation was just around the corner.

It was Spring 2004 and I’d been using EFT extensively on myself and I guess I’d generally reduced a lot of negative emotions and thought patterns in myself. I felt calmer and less stressed over all. It was fantastic!

And then as if from nowhere I started to hear a question in my mind.. “Maybe I do want children?” It was confusing as I’d never had these thoughts before. What did it mean?

I hardly recognised myself but the voice persisted with its question and I could tell this was important.

So on an unusually warm Spring day I decided to sit in my deckchair in my sunny garden and take some time to acknowledge each issue and experience that had lead me to the decision not to have children.

There were many and they had roots that were buried deep into my life as far back as early childhood and even the day I was born.

As I acknowledged each issue I applied EFT to it, and within minutes I was gaining a fresh new perspective on each of these previously traumatic experiences.

As I sat in the sun on my deckchair tapping through these issues it was as if the sun shone a little brighter as each one was cleared with EFT. My thinking was becoming clearer and I felt a profound sense of peace, and curiosity also about the new life that was laid out in front of me.

During that very cathartic tapping session in the sunshine I worked through several key issues:

I acknowledged my only experience of childbirth – that of my own – which left me with a genuine phobia of birth known as tokophobia. At a young age I learnt about the traumatic way that I came into the world. My mother had pre-eclampsia and during labour the doctors believed that I had died. They rushed my mum into theatre for an emergency caesarean and the last words she heard before she went under were “the baby’s died, now we need to save the mother”. Fortunately thanks to the quick actions of the doctors we both survived and it was discovered that an exceptionally short umbilical cord had threatened both of our lives in labour. No one could have known this, and hearing this story at a young age laid down a core belief for me that childbirth is dangerous and I would never put myself in that position.

I also thought about my father, and the fact that he had been mostly absent my whole life. His actions left me with many unanswered questions. How could he leave a baby daughter behind? Why didn’t he ever want to see me? How can a parent be that way? Without answers and reasons as to why my own father seemed incapable of being a parent, I was left with a fear that perhaps I also wouldn’t know how to be a good parent.

And lastly I acknowledged the fact that I was an only child – and indeed an only grandchild with no cousins, nieces or nephews meant that I had no experience whatsoever being around children. Even during my own childhood I had preferred the company of adults and found children uninteresting. How could I be a parent if I didn’t understand children? Why would I want to bring a child into my family?

All of these were heavy issues to work through, and as I recall them now I realise what a powerful tool EFT was to help me quickly and cleanly address each of them and gain a much more healthy perspective.

As I stood up from my deckchair and went inside into the cool of the house, I recognised that I was a changed person. I wasn’t the frightened girl with layers and layers of protection from the world. I was now a woman who felt a real and tangible pull towards becoming a mother. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to give birth. I wanted to snuggle my beautiful baby and be their mother forever and ever. It felt so very right.

I shared this ‘awakening’ with my husband and in an emotional conversation he told me he had been feeling the same way!

A short while later I confided in my mum. She said that she had noticed a change in me, which confirmed to me that it had been a gradual process since I learnt EFT and started using it to clear my life time of ‘stuff’.

My husband and I decided to take our time and planned to use our summer holiday in June to talk about potential ‘baby plans’. So in June 2004 on a campsite in Scotland we made the decision that 2 would become 3. It was one of the happiest days of my life. And like almost every woman who tries to conceive, I thought it would happen straightaway but there was another plan in store for me.

To be continued..

Would you like to share your story too? If you’ve used EFT on your fertility journey you can share your story and give support and hope to others here: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NMQRBGD

Let’s share our stories!

sarahh — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 12:51:19 +0000

I’m often asked about my own fertility story. Questions I’m asked include: What were your fertility issues? Did you conceive naturally or with IVF? Are you hoping to have another child?

Many people seem embarrassed to be asking but they really shouldn’t be. I am more than happy to share my story, in all its glory!

I know how helpful it was for me to hear others’ fertility stories when I was trying to conceive. These stories gave me a real sense of support and helped restore hope. I’d love you to experience this too.

So coming soon is my new blog feature: “My Story…Your Story: Sharing our fertility and EFT stories for support and hope!”

For the first time ever I’m going to share my full fertility story. Starting with the moment 9 years ago when my life dramatically changed and set me on my path to parenthood. Then throughout my fertility journey to conceive my son. And finally taking us bang up to date with our plans to complete our family right now.

This will be a no holds barred full account of my journey to motherhood and I’m so looking forward to sharing it with you. I’m going to share my innermost secrets and experiences over 3 blog posts. And I think some of it will surprise you!

EFT has been a fantastic support tool for me over the years of trying to conceive and through to parenthood. Without EFT I can honestly say that I don’t believe I would be a mother today.

While I’m telling my story here on my blog, I’d love to hear your stories too. Have you used EFT during your fertility journey? Did you use it with me as one of my private clients, or by yourself? How did EFT change your fertility journey? What emotional issues did it help with? Whether you’re still within your journey, now pregnant, or with your baby I’d love to share your story here on the Fertile Mindset blog.

To get in touch with me and share your EFT for fertility story (which can be completely anonymous if you wish) click here: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NMQRBGD

Check back soon for the first part in my fertility story, when it all started in 2004.

A message from the Fertility Focus Telesummit

sarahh — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 15:33:42 +0000

The Fertility Focus Telesummit 2013 was an amazing event. It spanned 7 days, with 12 hours of presentations, featuring 13 fertility experts, attended by 4000 of you from all over the world, listening to thousands of fertility facts and snippets of advice and encouragement. Wow!

And from all of this.. is there just one message you can take away?

For me this year the message was very strong and it can be summed up in one word.

Integration.

Many of you who have been on a fertility journey for some time know that there are LOTS of potential solutions to infertility out there. And if you didn’t know that before, attending the Fertility Focus Telesummit and listening to all the presentations will have opened your eyes to a whole of world of options to resolve your fertility issues.

But where do you start?

How can you decide which treatments and therapies are right for your fertility issues?

And how can you bridge the gap between the medical world and natural approaches to fertility?

There is a great amount of offer from both medical and natural fertility experts and each have their own strengths.

Advances in medical technology mean that fertility testing can give great insights into the possible causes, and fertility treatment has come on a lot since the first ‘test tube babies’ with new developments all the time.

On the other hand the natural approach supports you by helping you to understand more about your fertility and cycles. Natural fertility looks at working with your body for optimum fertility with nutrition, therapies and lifestyle advice. This approach can also improve the outcome of fertility treatment such as IVF.

Another important factor in the natural approach is acknowledging and supporting the emotional aspects. Not only to make the fertility journey a more positive experience for you, but also to resolve any potential blocks to conceiving and remove stress that may be harming your fertility.

Our speakers at the Fertility Focus Telesummit were passionate about bringing you the very best from both worlds and helping you to integrate them for the highest chance of pregnancy success.

Now how do you go about integrating all the approaches to conceive your baby?

I often compare the experience of trying to conceive through infertility to being a Project Manager! Taking on this role can be all-encompassing and stressful… and unless you’re a fertility expert yourself, how do you know you are ‘getting it right’?

The best place to start is by having full and thorough tests and investigations, with both medical and natural fertility practitioners.

Once you have your test results you’ll then have information to help you plan and carry out an integrated approach to your fertility. It can be tempting to rush in and try out lots of therapies and techniques yourself. But often this can lead to frantic activity that doesn’t achieve too much other than leave you time and money poor and stressed to your eyeballs!

Is there another way?

If you’d like to learn more about the power of integration for your fertility journey and how you can best approach it then join myself and Andrew Loosely, the Natural Fertility Expert for a free online event – Fertility Question Time: The Importance of Emotional Well-Being on Your Fertility Journey.

This 90 minute live event will be happening at 8pm UK time on Thursday 7th March. If you had already registered your place please note the NEW DATE due to me unfortunately losing my voice this week!!

Register your place here: http://www.naturalfertilityexpert.com/fqt

I look forward to seeing you there and helping you move towards a truly integrated approach to support your fertility and conceive your baby.

Five Fertility Tips for 2013: EXPAND

sarahh — Thu, 31 Jan 2013 13:24:45 +0000

So here we are, it’s the last day of January and I’m sharing the last of my Five Fertility Tips for 2013. I hope these tips have given you a sound structure to make 2013 the year you conceive your baby.

Let’s have a re-cap of the 4 tips so far…

Tip 1. SURROUND yourself with the right people – This was all about ensuring you have a great support team on your fertility journey, to stand by your side when the going gets tough and cheer you on towards success.

Tip 2. Take CARE of yourself – Acknowledge your emotions and take time to practice self-care every day. You deserve it and the benefits will shine through!

Tip 3. Your PLAN to conceive your baby in 2013 – Formulate and follow a conception plan that feels right for you and you’ll move forward much more positively towards your baby.

Tip 4. What can you ACT on to boost your fertility right now? – So much can feel out of control with infertility, but if you accept what you can’t control and act on what you can, you’ll be in a truly powerful position!

And today the final tip is…

EXPAND your thinking and the sky’s the limit!

According to Albert Einstein insanity can be defined as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. At times the journey through infertility can feel like it’s driving you insane, so ask yourself what you could be doing differently.

Is there another approach to your fertility that you could take? And how can you find the right approach for you?

Many of us turn to “Dr Google” when doing our own research into fertility solutions. Have you done this too? It can be confusing when faced with many different options without knowing which sources you should trust.

But going back to the idea that if we do the same thing we’ll get the same results, it is important to expand your thinking and look for answers to your fertility issues. So where can you go for solid advice that you can trust? And how can you do your research in an efficient way that doesn’t cost you dearly in time and money?

Here is a great place to start. Every year I hold an online fertility information event, designed to bring information from top fertility experts directly to you. It’s the Fertility Focus Telesummit and it starts on 11th February!

You can attend the Fertility Focus Telesummit completely free of charge and listen in to all the presentations from the comfort of your own home. What could be easier! And when you book your free place you’ll also have an option to upgrade to a Golden Ticket at a low price to own all the presentations as MP3 recordings and professionally written transcripts.

Whichever option is right for you, I recommend you take a moment now to sign up and be ready for when we start on 11th February.

Every year when I hold this event I receive lots of wonderful feedback from the people who attended, telling me they learnt so much about their fertility and are finding solutions to their issues. We’ve had quite a few pregnancies following the Telesummits too!

Take a positive step now and sign up. It could be the best thing you do for your fertility this year.

Click here to register your place for free: www.fertilityfocustelesummit.com

I look forward to seeing you there!

Five Fertility Tips for 2013: ACT

sarahh — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 12:01:21 +0000

What can you ACT on to boost your fertility right now?

Let’s face facts, there’s a lot in life that you don’t feel in control of and your fertility journey is no exception. You can choose the best clinic, the best doctor, prepare your body for conception with good nutrition, and do all you can to reduce stress and relax. But the end result and whether you conceive each month, or with each fertility treatment cycle, can still feel totally out of your control.

And that lack of control can be a big problem.

Let me ask you a question…. Are you a control freak?! If so, you’re not alone. I know I can definitely lean towards control freak tendencies! After all, being in control feels great doesn’t it? It makes us feel safe and as if we are literally in control of our future.

But the truth is that we are not, and cannot be in control of every aspect of our lives or our fertility.

However that doesn’t have to be bad news, and if you can accept and embrace the lack of control and make the most of what you can control and ACT on it, then you have a very powerful approach to trying to conceive.

So here’s my tip for you today. Think about which elements of your fertility you can control. Things you could definitely control and ACT on are:

- Getting to know more about your cycle and finding out when you ovulate so you can accurately time your love making (I highly recommend fertility charting and control freaks like me love it!)

- What you nourish your body with – food, drink, and everything you consume including the cosmetics you wear and chemicals you use in your home are all in your control. Choose healthy and fertility friendly!

- Who you choose to take care of your fertility health. Take time and care to choose the medical care providers that are right for you.

- Your emotional well-being….. Really?? This one may be raising a few eyebrows as it can feel like our emotions are out of control. However if you use an effective technique like EFT, and use it appropriately and consistently I believe you CAN truly be back in control of your emotions. This doesn’t mean you will never feel emotional pain again, after all you are human. But once you know how to use EFT you will be able to choose whether you want to experience worry, anxiety or sadness or not. That puts you back in control – and is extremely empowering!

And there’s so much more than is within your control while you navigate your way through your fertility journey.

Once you acknowledge what you can gain control over, it can then be easier to accept the elements that are not. There are parts of your journey that are left up to fate, God, Mother Nature, the Universe.. If you have trouble coming to terms with letting go, then EFT can be used here very effectively also. Here’s an EFT tapping round you can use (if you don’t know how to do EFT take a look at my video here to learn the basics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4UvMC6uHvc)

Tapping to Let Go of Control

Set up phrases:

“Even though it’s hard to accept that I can’t be in total control over whether I get pregnant this month, I accept myself anyway and I’m open to letting go of control”
“Even though letting go of control feels unsafe, I love and accept myself and I acknowledge all that I can control to support my fertility”

Then tap each point while saying reminder phrases such as:

“It’s scary to let go of control”
“I wish I could control everything”
“If I’m not in control I might not get pregnant”
“I hate not being in control!”

Once you feel the emotion surrounding control reducing try tapping with some of these phrases:

“I choose to remember the elements I can control”
“Acknowledging all I CAN do to support my fertility”
“There is so much I can act on and take control back”
“And that feels great!”
“Accepting not everything is in my control”
“And that’s ok”

Are you ready now to ACT on what you can control and accept what you cannot? I’d love to support you with this and any other emotional aspects of your fertility journey. You don’t have to do this alone. If you’d like to be supported by me personally and learn how reduce stress and nurture a positive mindset to support your fertility journey, do get in touch for a FREE telephone consultation. I’d love to hear from you! Learn about my support here www.fertilemindset.com/work-with-sarah.

Next time my final tip for the New Year will be EXPAND…

Five Fertility Tips for 2013: PLAN

sarahh — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 14:26:06 +0000

Your PLAN to conceive your baby in 2013

I’m sure that when you started trying to conceive your baby you didn’t expect to become a master at project management. At the start most of us just vaguely become aware of our fertile window in the month and expect the rest to fall into place.

However as the months or even years pass by, you may have become more aware of how much you have to DO to get Project Baby off the ground. Far from “just letting nature take its course” you’re now juggling doctor’s appointments, fertility treatment schedules, acupuncture appointments, fertility diet guidelines, daily supplement pills, and of course remembering some EFT tapping to keep you calm.

So how can you move ahead into 2013 ensuring you do all you can to get pregnant this year without being totally overwhelmed?

You may have heard the saying “To fail to plan is to plan to fail” and I must say that I do agree with this.

I see formulating – and following – a plan as one of the most effective things you can do on your fertility journey. It may seem very cold and clinical, and a far cry from the romance of building a family. But once put in place, a well thought out and realistic plan can alleviate worry and stress – not to mention keep you focused on positive steps and make a pregnancy more likely.

Every year it amazes me how quickly those 12 months can pass. We’re already 2 weeks in, and it feels like I was watching Big Ben chime the New Year in just yesterday. Get your plan together in January and you’ll maximise the whole year for baby making plans. Without a plan, you may find it’s 31st December 2013 in the blink of an eye…

How can you get your plan together, and make sure it’s a great one for you?

Starting by revisiting what you did in 2012 for Project Baby. What did you learn about your fertility? Thinking of the doctors you cosnsulted, the tests you had, any diagnoses or treatment, and any additional support from therapists, nutritionists and the like – what worked for you and what do you want to do more of? Are there any gaps, do you need more tests, or to find another treatment or solution? What research do you want to do?

Once you have an idea of what you want to DO in 2013, map out WHEN you can and want to do this. What else is happening for you this year? It’s easy to put life on hold when trying to conceive, but be sure to pencil in some holidays and fun times, and also any other commitments to your time.

Then plan out your fertility action points for the year, and as you do this check in that this plan feels RIGHT for you. If it feels authentic and achievable to you, you’ll be much more likely to stick to The Plan.

If you’d like to be supported by me personally and learn how reduce stress and nurture a positive mindset to support your fertility journey, do get in touch for a FREE telephone consultation. I’d love to hear from you! Learn about my support here www.fertilemindset.com/work-with-sarah.

Next time we’ll be talking about what we need to ACT on for fertility…

Five Fertility Tips for 2013: CARE

sarahh — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 13:56:50 +0000

Take CARE of yourself

“What self-care am I practicing during my fertility journey?”

I’d like to you to ask yourself this question, and consider what, if anything, you regularly do to take care of YOU and your emotional wellbeing.

It may be that right now you are doing little or nothing. Maybe you haven’t had the time or energy, or it’s just not been a priority for you.

Now think about what you are doing to take care of your physical health – or your fertility health – while you’re trying to conceive. Are you taking vitamins supplements, eating more healthily, having acupuncture, following fertility treatment with your clinic, exercising or something else? If you’re doing any of these things – fantastic!

Now my tip to start 2013 in the right way for your fertility, is to dedicate just as much time and energy into caring for your emotional wellbeing as you do for your physical health.

Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge and understand your emotions and where they have come from. If you ignore your emotional wellbeing, the feelings will be pushed down and become buried. Then at your most challenging and vulnerable times these emotions will once again resurface just when you don’t want them to.

Does this scenario sound familiar…? You’ve decided to give yourself a ‘talking to’ and you’re going to start your next month of trying to conceive with a positive mindset. You push aside any negative thoughts as they arise, and all is going well. Until your period comes, or you see another negative pregnancy test result.. Then it’s as if your world comes crashing down and you didn’t feel at all prepared for these emotions.

Practicing emotional self-care and making it part of your fertility plan for 2013 is an extremely positive thing to do and it doesn’t have to be time consuming. Here are some tips:

- Make a decision to spend time with friends and family who uplift and support you.
- Each week focus on hobbies or activities that bring you real joy and pleasure, read positive books and novels, and watch films that make you laugh!
- Learn and regularly practice a mind/body technique such as EFT to work through the emotions of infertility and maintain a true positive mindset.
- And above all acknowledge the emotions you are feeling about your fertility, and be kind to yourself.

If you’d like to learn EFT and be supported by me personally, do get in touch. I’d love to hear from you! Learn about my support here www.fertilemindset.com/work-with-sarah.

Next time we’ll be talking about a PLAN…

Five Fertility Tips for 2013: SURROUND

sarahh — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 10:11:05 +0000

Here we are at the start of a brand new year! How are you feeling today? I’d love you to feel inspired, hopeful and positive that this year you will conceive your baby.

So I’m kick starting 2013 for you with a series of tips to transform your year and your fertility journey. You’ll receive a new tip each week for the whole of January. These can be the foundation for a fantastic year to prepare your mind, body and life to welcome your baby.

Sound good? Great, let’s get started!

The words for your 5 Fertility Tips are Surround, Care, Plan, Act, and Expand. Today we’re going to start with Surround – a key step to prepare for the year ahead.

SURROUND Yourself with the Right People

Thinking back over 2012, who supported you through your fertility journey? Perhaps you received your main support from your partner, your best friend or your mother. Or maybe you found it hard to open up to those who are close to you, and your doctor or therapist was your main support. You may have also found support in virtual strangers through support groups or online fertility communities.

Wherever you gleaned support from, take a moment to acknowledge how it worked for you. Did you receive enough? Was the support always forthcoming and available? Did you receive sage advice and wise words, or were people at a loss for what to say about your struggle to conceive?

The truth about support is that although it is much needed it can be tough to find the right people for the job. Friends and relatives are often well meaning but can be too close to you to offer objective advice. And when people have no experience or understanding of infertility, their advice may come across as tactless and unhelpful. How many times have you been given the unwelcome advice “just relax and you’ll get pregnant”?!

My tip for you today is to consider all the people you have surrounded yourself with for support in 2012, or would like to in 2013, and take them through a virtual “audition”. Yes, really!

Start by listing each person or entity – include your partner, relatives, friends, medical team, therapists, counsellors, online support, and anyone else relevant to your journey.

Then take each one and “audition” them in your mind by putting them into a typical fertility situation, for example dealing with the upset of a negative pregnancy test.

How would they offer support? Would they give good practical advice? A shoulder to cry on? An empathetic listening ear? Offer techniques and support to work through your emotions? Or would they be as much use as a chocolate teapot, and make you feel worse instead of better?

Once they’ve been through their “audition” take note of what kind of support – if any – they are best suited to, whether emotional, practical or something else.

Thinking about your own support network this way will enable you to get clarity on who is truly there for you in which situations, and whether there are any gaps that need filling.

Building your own fertility support team is one of the best things you can do to prepare yourself for the journey ahead. Having a ‘team’ you can rely on when times get tough and to keep you motivated is invaluable and could make all the difference.

I was speaking to Mr Michael Dooley, Consultant Gynaecologist from the Poundbury Clinic recently and he likened the need of a personal fertility support team to that of the Olympic athletes. For these top athletes to set their sights on a gold medal, they know they need to surround themselves with the right people to help them achieve that goal.

Who should you surround yourself with to achieve gold in your fertility journey this year?

If you’d like one-to-one support and guidance from me through your fertility journey this year, do get in touch. It would be a pleasure to support you and help you achieve your goal of a healthy pregnancy and baby in 2013. Learn about my support here www.fertilemindset.com/work-with-sarah.

Next time we’ll be talking about CARE…

How powerful could a Fertile Mindset be for you?

sarahh — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 15:54:54 +0000

Last Sunday I spent the day at the Fertility Show in London. Held in one of the UK largest exhibition venues with over 100 stands, 60 talks and 3,000 other visitors I can’t help wondering how overwhelming this must feel. Not only are you trying to cope with your fertility issues, but you are now bombarded by information and advice from all directions. In fact last year after the Fertility Show I blogged about overwhelm and how to deal with it.

So towards the end of the day on Sunday I was worried… Worried because I was now to take part in a seminar at the Fertility Show, alongside fertility doctor Mr Michael Dooley and acupuncturist Emma Cannon, talking about how complementary therapies can support fertility. Would this talk be just yet more information for our audience? Would it take them into overload?

But as we waited for our seminar to start we were pleased to see the room fill up. It seemed like all 200 tickets had been snapped up. And there were yet more people standing by the side of the seminar area, hoping to listen in even though they couldn’t get a ticket.

And so our seminar started, and because I know how valuable this information is I hoped that it would instil hope and inspiration rather than more stress and overwhelm…

I finished the seminar with a short talk on how EFT can be a powerful technique to resolve the stress and other emotions that infertility can bring. The last thing I shared with the audience was some inspiration about what it could mean to have a ‘Fertile Mindset’. I’d like to share this with you too.

Your mind is in the perfect place for successful conception and you feel truly ready to be pregnant and be a parent.
You can cope with all the fertility tests and treatments.
You look at all your fertility options and make clear, considered decisions.
You can think about the “what ifs” without panic and worry.
You deal with setbacks calmly and feel ready to move on to the next stage.
You’re comfortable being around pregnant women and babies, so keep all your friendships strong and supportive.
You know you are doing everything you can to get pregnant and feel at peace with the process.
You have a wonderful inner strength that carries you right through your fertility journey and beyond!

Now imagine that all the above – and more – was truly possible for you. How would that change your fertility journey?

The seminar finished and the room started to empty after a long and busy day at the Fertility Show. But I was delighted to see a considerable number of people crowding round our table, with big smiles and eyes alight with enthusiasm and hope! I was pleased to be able to speak to as many people as possible and will continue to do so to provide support in any way I can.

As I got my train home from the Fertility Show on Sunday, I left with a renewed sense of hope for everyone who is trying to conceive their baby through the challenges of infertility. Yes it’s tough going, and the research that is often required to find solutions can be overwhelming. But with the right tools and support it is possible to turn around your mindset and attitude to one of positive motivation and strength.

Then with this is mind, yesterday on my Fertile Mindset Facebook page I shared some words that kept me strong throughout my fertility journey. It’s an affirmation that not everyone finds easy to say or believe, but that can be truly empowering. And when I shared this not 1 or 2.. but 3 women came forward to say that they had used EFT to help them create the perfect mindset to not only make this affirmation possible for them but also to bring them the pregnancies and babies they dreamed of! WOW! I was honoured to support each of these women and help them discover how EFT can truly turnaround their fertility for the better.

Want to read the affirmation for yourself? Here it is.

To your own perfect, fertile mindset.

Image: graur codrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net